Small Difference

I've been going back and forth on the idea of Morocco - doing research, reading past and current Peace Corps Volunteer blogs and trying to learn Arabic. Granted, I still have no received an interview request from them yet so who knows if I will even get a chance to go.

I spent a good amount of time discussing with friends and family as well. It ranged from meaningful to frivolous.

"Will you be able to shut your mouth? Do you want to really live in the desert? You will get so tan! Kids? I thought you didn't want kids."

At this moment in my life and the foreseeable near future (is that even a thing?), I do not want children. This may change of course -- nothing is set in stone. But the last statement really did hit a nerve.

Okay, so I may not want kids but it doesn't mean I don't want to invest in them. They are our future and with them, we can and will shape the world into a better place. I believe that with every fiber in my being. I want to help build something for them to be able to do these wonderful things I know they are capable of achieving. It hurts me to think some of them aren't able to reach their goals and dreams because of their social and economical standings.

So what does that mean for me about the position for the Youth Development Volunteer position in Morocco?

One blog I read from start to finish (it is still an active blog too!) is about a girl who is in southern Morocco near the Anti - Atlas mountains working in basically a recreation center. She has English class everyday for kids and teaches them about American culture, developed a women's exercise club and is basically around youth all day.

I honestly do not know if I could handle that. Maybe that's the part that I will overcome and learn to love everyday. Even though it's not the big difference I want to make, it's a small difference that may mean the world to these kids.

I'm still having mix feelings about Morocco but it's normal to be scared of the unknown. I think that it is so different from what I was expecting and wanting (Timor Leste <3) that I just wanted to throw Morocco under the bus. And that is not fair. The part of me that wants an interview is gaining way more traction -- that means in my heart, I really want this. I know that I want this.

I want to be able to be a part of the worlds' stories so here's to casting fear aside. 2017, may it be filled with endless adventure and self discovery and to the honesty that I will encounter. Small differences are entirely to one's frame of reference.